In my late 30s, with 40 approaching, two small kids, and a few grays starting to show, I found myself feeling… not very beautiful. It wasn’t something I consciously dwelled on — it just crept up on me. My body had changed after having my second baby, and the weight I gained never really went away. Life was busy, and I had settled into the mindset that aging is natural. We all grow older. We can’t feel young and beautiful our whole lives. Right?
But the truth was, I felt like I was losing myself. The spark, the confidence I once had — it wasn’t there anymore. I missed that feeling of being unstoppable, of feeling like I could conquer anything. I missed feeling like me.
Then, something unexpected happened. My dear friend Allyne Armitage, who’s also a photographer, invited me for a beauty portrait session at her studio. Honestly? I was terrified. Lately, I hadn’t liked seeing myself in photos. The last professional shoot I did was with my family, running along the beach with my kids. I loved the memories we created, but when I looked at the pictures, all I could see was how much I had changed. I looked older, tired. Those photos are precious to me, but they weren’t about me. They were about our life as a family.
This time, the spotlight was on me alone — and that was scary. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I trusted Allyne, and I showed up.
From the moment I stepped in, everything was different. The professional lights, the soft music in the background, Allyne's gentle guidance — it felt like stepping into another world. Even though I’m a photographer myself and know how to pose my clients, being on the other side of the camera felt completely different. I couldn’t see myself, couldn’t fix my angles. I had to trust her. And she guided me every step of the way.
When I finally saw the portraits, I was speechless. I couldn’t believe the woman staring back at me. She was beautiful. She looked strong. I saw a bit of sadness in her eyes, a little tiredness — but she was radiant. I was radiant. And it wasn’t just the photos that moved me. It was the experience. For the first time in a long time, I saw myself. I saw the woman who has built a life, who has raised children, who has chased her dreams. I saw her strength, her softness, her beauty.
And that’s when it clicked: this experience wasn’t just about taking pretty pictures. It was about reconnecting with myself. It was about feeling empowered and reclaiming a part of me that had been quietly fading into the background.
I left that session with so much more than stunning portraits. I left with a renewed sense of confidence, energy, and creativity. I remembered that I deserve to feel beautiful. I deserve to take up space. I deserve to be seen.
That photoshoot did more for me than any therapy session ever could. It reminded me that I’m still here. I’m still vibrant. I’m still me.
I decided to print those portraits large and hang them on my walls. So every time I walk past them, I will feel a little spark — a reminder that no matter where I am in life, I am worthy of celebrating.
Photo credit: Allyne Armitage
If you’re a woman in your 30s, 40s, 50s or 60s — if you’ve ever felt like you’re fading into the background, like you’re not as beautiful or confident as you once were — I want you to know that you are. You’re already strong. You’re already radiant. You deserve to see yourself the way the world sees you.
So, this is my invitation to you: do the photoshoot. Celebrate your journey, your strength, your beauty. Whether you’ve been working hard at the gym, embracing your gray hair, or simply surviving the whirlwind of life, you deserve this moment. You deserve to feel empowered. And you deserve to have a portrait that reminds you of just how incredible you are.
